Well, first and foremost, I would like to say I have updated my “About Me” section. It has a bit more information about me and my life. It’s not too much but definitely gives a general overview. In my opinion, for right now, it’s just right. So, I hope you check it out and like it because it’s going to stay that way until I feel the need for change. 🙂 Woo, go me! Now time to try and refresh myself on “html” code and making banners. It’s been a long time since my Xanga days of making layouts for people. Oh, the glory days.
Time to get back to reality.Let’s do the time warp agaaaaaaaaaaaaaaain. Anyone? No… Okay.
Right now, I’m trying to take the time to finish my homework which is due tomorrow but I cannot seem to concentrate on my work. I’m not quite sure what it is, but lately I’ve just been really down in the dumps. I’ve been waking up early and eager to start my day off with an early workout so I can come to this cafe in the town over (where I am now ;-)) and do some schoolwork while drinking some coffee. I wake up and feel good while I’m working out. Constantly, I’m thinking the most positive thoughts about getting healthier while staying active. I think about how much I love exercising and how I’m excited to start fueling my body right because, honestly, I absolutely love being active. I really love it. Maybe that’s why it bothers me so much that I feel unhealthy. I’ve treated my body poorly when it’s been trying to support me for what I love doing each day.
This is so annoying and frustrating for me. It feels like I’ve forgotten how to eat right. It’s been so long since I’ve had a healthy diet and just ate what/when I wanted. I’m pretty sure when you’re body hasn’t been properly fed, it’s going to crave food constantly… But it’s really hard when I finish my oatmeal and I’m still hungry.
Now, most of you probably are like, “Sometimes I am hungry.” But I eat double the amount of oatmeal as the normal person. I make a full cup of oats, add pumpkin and egg whites, then top it with peanut butter. I don’t do the measly spoonful, either, I make sure I have atleast two tablespoons. But it just bothers me. It’s such a big meal but I’m left feeling hungry afterwards. And I know I shouldn’t be counting calories, but it bothers me to know it’s close to 600 calories and I don’t feel full?! What the hell? How is that even possible. I just don’t really understand it.
I guess it just discourages me. I just want to give up. It’s exhausting for me. And I’m left feeling really bad about myself and just… ultimately, sad. I could sit here and cry but it’s not even about the calories… Just the lack of feeling satisfied. I don’t know. It’s hard for me to sit and do my homework [[which is already frustrating since I don’t know what I’m doing]] while I’m so frustrated and just… Grrrr.
OH, and the Eagles lost last night. That, alone, can make someone miserable… Especially an Eastern Pennsylvanian like myself. 😛
Back to homework, hope you all have a glorious Monday! One day down!