My Birds Let Me Down.

I feel as though no matter how much homework I get finished, I never really get ahead of myself. I have so much I need to do for my student teaching, it’s insane. There’s so much teachers need to pay for, like fingerprinting, FBI background checks, Praxis’ tests, etc, and it just is really expensive and overwhelming. I go to my first day “out in the field” this Wednesday and I’m so nervous.

Applesauce Pancakes Mmm

I’m also overwhelmed because I need to go buy a really cheap pair of dress pants because, unfortunately, my weight loss has made a lot of my clothing too baggy. Also, I want to go to a few grocery stores in a town that’s pretty far to get some food items, but I can never seem to find the time to just relax and drive down. I have priorities but everyone needs a break. I just can’t seem to finish enough work to allow me to get everything completed. Yikes, school is pretty frustrating sometimes.

Sweet Tater Fries. Yes, I ate all of those.

For those who run out of dishes, use tin foil cup (DIY version)

Also, I’ve been going through some stressful things lately which have scared me a bit. My ring finger has lost sense on the tip of it but my brother told me he gets the same thing and it’s genetic. I know nerve things happen when people get too thin, so before I spoke with him and he cleared up the difference between losing sense in one finger versus losing sense in all fingers or one hand, I was an emotional wreck.

Flatout + chipotle laughing cow + cottage cheese + cucumber + cumin = Heavenly

Not to mention right now the Eagles have been intercepted for the first bajillionth time.

I need a beer.

But anyway, I have really been incorporating so much food into my diet that it’s a little hard to keep up with the time to make food. And the money! I feel like I’m just constantly eating, though, and I don’t like feeling full and uncomfortable. It just makes me want to lay down in my bed and sleep, so I end up not doing my homework. This is not good and I know I need to eat, but I hate feeling full ALL the time. I think I had over 2000 calories for the first day in like a year. And calories from food, not ice cream or candy. People keep saying “Gaining weight is easy, just eat ice cream and junk food.” Well, yeah..Β  I mean, I would like to do that… But I used to rely on sugar and binging on sugary foods as ways to relieve my depression/loneliness. Now that I’m free of sugar addiction (which I really was addicted), I don’t want to go back to that. I want to gain weight on whole foods and healthier baked goods. Oatmeal.Natural foods.

I was sad to see this go.

And this. 😦

 

I found a lot of things I like lately which I’ve never tried or haven’t eaten in years. Actually, speaking of sugary foods, I bought fluff the other day for fluffy-nutter sandwhiches. Do you know how long it has been since I’ve had fluff? A long time. I mean, I might have had rice krispy treats or something… But a fluffery– nutter? It’s been a long absence.

Hopefully I can muster up the courage to make one. πŸ˜›

Do you enjoy fluffernutters?

Have you ever been addicted to sugar?

Extremely. Actually, I used to go to the grocery store and buy bulk dark chocolate covered things and just eat that all day. Along with maybe two pumpkin-spiced lattes. I would literally make myself SICK in the stomach. I never made myself throw-up (surprisingly and thankfully) but I would just keep feeding my stomach sugar upon sugar. And that’s ALL I would eat. Yeah. I have had some interesting times.

Are your Sundays full of football?

Always. Sundays for me while I was younger = Football, Italian dinner at my mommom’s house, and new episodes of the simpsons. Haha, the good ‘ole days. Football hasn’t changed, though. I always associate Sundays with watching games.

The eagles lost. My weekend = horrible now.

did you have a good weekend?????????

Laur ❀

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11 thoughts on “My Birds Let Me Down.

  1. I couldn’t believe the eagles lost either, that was crazy!! I’m a crazy football gal on Sundays too, gotta love it!
    Sorry to hear you’ve been havin some rough stuff going on girl, I know that doesn’t help in the midst of studying stress. I’ll keep you in my prayers hun, I know there’ll be a brighter day coming your way! Who knowd, tomorrow may bring something awesome! πŸ™‚
    My weekend was okay, it was mostly studying so pretty dullsville up in my crib haha Hopefully the week will fly by, I don’t wanna go back to class yet!

  2. aww im sorry. it’ll get better from here–keep your head up!
    i never really had a sugar addiction–but i love sweets! i try to go for fruit sweetened or natural sweeteners but sometimes sugars the best way to go πŸ˜›
    my weekend was awesome! we won the semi’s in soccer and are gonna play in the state cup finals!

  3. I’m sorry you are continuing to have such a hard time. It is not easy at all. The added stress of school and well, life doesnt make it any easier either. Also, I can completely relate to the sugar addiction…there was a period where I ate just candy all day too : ( Keep pushing forward and dont give up, thats all you can do. Wishing you a great week!

    Katie : )

  4. Have a great start to your week! Going into the schools is EXCITING even though I know it’s nerve-wracking. You’re going to be great and I’ll bet you’ll find that it actually helps keep your mind off of other stressors going on in your life. If you need advice or have questions about student teaching/teaching, let me know! πŸ™‚
    I used to be ADDICTED to candy corn and those candy corn pumpkins. When I was really underweight and trying to gain weight, I would start to eat candy corn and then basically not be able to stop. It was a bad cycle but thankfully I’m through that!
    xoxo

  5. I have been on sugar kicks where it is all I want but I think it would be cool if you did a post on it! Like how you got out of the sugar habit πŸ™‚

  6. Good luck with school and finding clothes and all the stuff for your student teaching. My bestie in college is a math teacher now but I remember how freakin’ crazy it was for her to do all that stuff.

    I like sugar… I find if I eat fruit it kinda helps the cravings, but yeah, fruits don’t really have that many calories in them, either. I’ve never had a fluffernutter but I’m not a marshmellow fluff person anyway…

  7. oh gosh- I hate being so busy!! I know how you feel (not to your extent but I can relate). and I’m totally with you on eating more! I feel like I’M STARVING ALL THE TIME. I hate feeling so full and uncomfortable! But you’ll make it through! Keep your head up and just keep chugging along! πŸ˜€
    I used to be EXTREMELY addicted to sugar! Thats why I don’t eat any form of sweets anymore. I remember just eating and eating and eating sugar. I felt like I could never get enough of it. Thank goodness I kicked that habit to the curb!
    Hope you’re having a great week! πŸ™‚

  8. I am so addicted to sugar, im trying to kick the habit now and its frustrating. I crave it but i know it will give me a headache. All your eats look amazing!! Dont let food rule your life though. Gaining weight does make you think about it more, but just think the faster you get healthy, the quicker you can move on in life. My Sundays are always filled with football, I love it πŸ™‚

  9. Ah good luck with teaching! It takes so long to be finger printed and everything. Currently the school district I am in is all sorts of backed up so I am about a week behind schedule! Plus my practicum work is needed for every single one of my classes. So I can totally relate. BTW, i got really scared when you said you lost feeling in your finger because that happened to me when I was too thin but I am so glad you figured it all out. THose types of things are really scary!

  10. oh hunni i completely understand the costs of being a teacher. its ridiculous how much all the background checks, new clothes, praxis exams, etc. all cost but its worth it when a student tells you what an impact you have had, and i know you are going to be a great educator!!!
    as far as eating all the time…i know the feeling and it does get easier. i too am trying to gain on whole foods and nuts have been like my best friend. i recently found cinnamon roasted almonds by emerald brand. they are delicious!
    if you need anything let me know. hugs!!!

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