Not that kind. Yet, ’tis a true picture haha.
Lets talk about my therapy session. My FIRST therapy session to be exact.
Me?! Therapy?! The independent girl who has consistently voiced her opinion against the ridiculous-ness of therapy:
“It’s a waste.”
“I don’t believe therapy does anything at all.”
“How can someone give the same people the same advice? Do they really feel like they’re helping?”
Yeah, me. I went to therapy.
And what did I think? I think I liked it. Weird, I know. But as soon as I left the room, I felt like a weight was lifted off of my shoulders. While I was in my therapy session, I even told my therapist I have always believed therapy was pointless and I’ve never believed someone can really do anything to fix your problems. I realized therapy isn’t “fixing” though. The therapist isn’t there to put a magical spell on you and everything will just go away.
So what does a therapist do? They listen. No matter what, your voice is heard. Throughout the years, I’ve become so used to doing everything by myself that I am alone ALL.OF.THE.TIME. I do everything with myself. I am my own best friend. And when I said this to the therapist, she agreed with me! She didn’t try to sugar coat it. To lie. She told me I am alone. You would think that would be the WORST thing to do, but not at all. The feeling of having someone there to listen to what I am saying is the best feeling in the world. I’ve had friends to talk to here and there, but this was different. She was truthful, even if it was hurtful… And it helped.
By the end of the session, the therapist told me she would like me to go to the on-campus doctor to monitor my health. She referred to this as the recommended “treatment”. Now, I don’t know about you, but the word “treatment” completely freaks me out. I immediately think of treatment centers and my heart starts to race. I told her I really feel like I’m too early in my OWN process to go to this doctor yet to be “monitored” because if I do lose a pound, I don’t want to be whisked away to a center. After explaining my worries, she came to an agreement with me. She told me if I looked like I was going downhill she would DEFINITELY let me know and if this happens, we’ll talk about the doctor again. And since I don’t look physically ill, she doesn’t see this as being an issue. I appreciated this more than anything because a.) she agreed to tell me if I look worse (because ED tends to change reflections) and b.) again, she LISTENED to my concerns.
UGH. I just felt SO good leaving her office. I just hope I keep feeling this way because there’s still a little thing in the back of my mind saying, “I hate having to rely on someone else.” But, I let myself get this low… So maybe I need a little help to find my true self again.
So, therapy was good. Eye-opening. And I can now say I gave it a shot.
And, come Monday, I’m giving it ANOTHER shot.
And hopefully another after this shot.
To everyone who gave input when I asked:
I could not have done this without all of you.
Thank you SO much.
I love the blogging community.
You guys are the best. 🙂OBVIOUSLY I take student teaching seriously. 😉
First picture, one of the students was definitely staring at me when I was taking it.
I hope they’re ready for me in the Spring!!!