Thanks “for-not” giving… Sometimes I think reading blogs is hurting more than helping, but the support you get is amazing. It’s just so hard for me to read about everyones fabulous thanksgiving. I ruined mine… Or my “ed” ruined it. It’s so depressing. I just hate every moment of being home, unfortunately. And I’m getting my second surgery on Thursday of next week. That’s right, folks. The process restarts… And I want to do it right this time, but I believe coming home just brought on bad habits. It’s so hard to explain but I just feel like I can’t eat infront of my family. I feel awkward and it’s hard for me to see happiness on my mom and dad’s face while I’m gluttonous and feel terrible about myself. I know that sounds selfish, but when your heart aches and you’re uncomfortable… Seeing joy on people’s faces is just not something to be happy about. I hate how much my life has changed… I hate how I haven’t enjoyed a Thanksgiving in about 5 years. I hate the fact home is uncomfortable. Unfortunately, this is all just a huge mistake. I’m sorry for being a downer… No one likes a debbie downer. But this is almost like a journal for me. Oy vey.