There are so many times throughout my recovery I told myself and others there was nothing wrong. Of course, in the back of my mind, I knew what I was doing but it was almost like I convinced myself everything I was doing was completely normal. It was not until I took a look at myself… really took a look at myself… and realized just how badly I was living with blinders.
These are the main signs which made me choose recovery. I hope, if any pertain to you, you will seek help whether it’s through treatment, yourself, or family.
1. “Me” time is all the time. Birthday parties, graduation parties, bonfires, etc. were all a no-go. Anywhere there was a possibility of food, I avoided completely.
2. You start skipping meals just to go sit by yourself in a store or go shopping. I used to go somewhere every night at dinner during high school. A majority of my time was spent at Barnes and Noble drinking water and coffee after coffee.
3. You start to plan out your meals for days of family parties/holidays. This one is big for me. I learned the hard way to cherish time with your family. If you ever find yourself avoiding your family or being angry when someone comes to visit… It’s a problem.
4. You schedule everything around exercise. When your friends ask you to go to a concert or a beach trip, you can skip one (or more) days. It will not “ruin” your fitness.
5. You start eating egg whites, powdered peanut butter, non-fat everything, salsa, raw veggies, and protein powder when you have absolutely no goals to become a body builder. If it’s not your future, just stop kidding yourself.
6. You feel you have to cover up your arms in public. This one is big for me, too. When I started to feel like I could not wear T-shirts or tank tops in public – I knew things had to change.
7. Fruit becomes the enemy because of its sugar content. Uhm, hello? Fruit is delicious. Please tell yourself to go get help. Nature’s candy should never be considered to be bad for you.
8. All of your thoughts are consumed about food. You’re reading about food, blogging about good, gawking P-interest/Instagram for food, and paging through magazines just to look at foods you deemed you “could never eat”. There’s a fine line between foodie/eating disorder food addiction.
9. You “save” calories early in the day just in case someone asks you to go out to eat. Then, when they do, you talk yourself out of going and just staying in to eat something else. Again, red flag.
10. If you ever consider any foods to be “fear foods”. This is bad. No food should be feared at all. Food is delicious and you’re lying to yourself.
These are only some of the things I have thought about recently to what sparked my recovery. The hardest part is admitting it to yourself and just… let it all go. I know some of the things above seem harsh, but I found I needed a kick in the butt to really get myself to change. So, I hope if this applies to you… Please get help from someone.
I can speak from experience, it is worth it.
Thoughts? What are some of your signs/signs you saw in others?