You know those mornings where you wake up and drink a ton of coffee while you scan your eyes across blog posts at a speedy rate. Meanwhile, you’re fingers are going at a mile a minute (that’s what she said) over the keys and you can’t seem to control them? I’m having one of those mornings. ALL THE COFFEE.
I took a few days off to try and update my blog. I finally bought my own domain and changed the layout a little bit. I really want to be able to connect with people better, so I hope I can catch on to things pretty fast because… Well, I like you all a lot.
Coffee buzz and blogging problems aside, this weekend and week was full of firsts and a lot of good. I was stepping out of my comfort zone and enjoying a life I left behind for about two years. For the first time in forever, I went to the West Reading Fall Fest and the nearby outlets with my mom. The fair was pretty small but it was nice to see local vendors, eat good food, and watch people do Bikram Yoga in the street with Elmo and my mom. Elmo isn’t around a lot of people (aside from family), so he was being so good the entire time. I was a proud of him and proud of myself for eating things I haven’t eaten in a long time: Say Cheese! grilled cheese, a macaron, and a cake ball.
I used to drive somewhere every day before my knee surgery. It was a mix of getting out of the house, being myself so I didn’t have to eat, and walking around aimlessly looking at things whether it be King of Prussia mall or Barnes and Noble. Although I never went anywhere with anyone, I got out of the house a lot and I cannot believe it’s been over two years since I’ve been to KOP when I used to go about every other day. I just to go everywhere.
There were a lot of things different about this trip with my mom. First, I was with my mom. Our relationship has changed so much over the past few months I cannot believe it. After being open with my mom about all of my eating disordered thoughts, things just seem a lot easier for me now. She knows I have anxieties about eating entire desserts (something I need to work on), so it’s easier for me to share things and have no guilt. Needless to say, she offered to share a macaron and cake ball with me. It’s just so refreshing she’s on my level and helps me overcome these obstacles.
Another new thing? This may seem really odd to some but for a long time I stopped eating bread and cheese. At the fair, I got a grilled cheese from a stand where there was no option to “go light on the cheese” or “don’t butter the bread”. I just ate two foods I shied away from a few months ago… together. It doesn’t seem like a big deal but it is a big deal and a huge high five to me.
The next day we headed to the outlets so my mom could get some new shoes. After several attempts from her to buy me something, I finally let her buy me a tweed trench coat from Guess. I have a lot of guilt with the fact my mom pays for all of my things, including food, doctor, coffee, etc. because of my knee surgery. I wouldn’t let her buy me anything but she really wanted to buy me this jacket. I love her so much. So much love.
After getting a bad text on Thursday, (possibly seventh surgery) I needed this weekend in the worst way. This was the first time in forever I got out of my house to do something fun. The only thing I wish was I didn’t feel “rushed” and could fully enjoy everything around me. My knee gives me trouble and I tend to lose interest in what I’m doing because it isn’t anywhere close to feeling “normal”. It’s like a race between my knee and I to who is going to last the longest. It’s huge “whomp, whomp” for me but I go to my doctor this Thursday. Wish me luck!
What’s the last thing you bought shopping?
Do you like my new layout? Anything I should add/remove/change?