“your bone is dying”

This rainy and gloomy day describes my entire mindset right now.
My doctor’s appointment revealed what appeared to be cystic lesions or holes forming in my bone… Again.
I have an MRI to determine what is going on in my knee.
All I heard was my mom say, “He thinks it may be Necrosis. Your bone is dying”.

In more cases, a person who develops necrosis is an alcoholic or has some type of disease which disables the body to get proper blood flow to the bone.
All of these things I tested negative through numerous blood tests.
Like your body’s tissue, bones need blood flow to stay alive and sometimes (for no reason) some people develop this disease.
And the bone affected… Dies.

I am all sorts of emotions right now.
The only thing I keep wondering and repeating is, “What did I do to deserve this”?
Until Wednesday (MRI), I will not know if it’s for certain but with all of the things which happened these past few months… I just makes sense.

So, I will get to the posts I want to write with time.
I’ll continue reading your posts and comment because, honestly, blogging keeps me sane.
I just really need time to cry it out and figure this all out.


25 thoughts on ““your bone is dying”

  1. I am so thinking and praying for you right now. I’m so sorry to hear about that news.
    I really hope you can get some cheering up today and this weekend to help improve your mood. Take Elmo and get some coffee asap:)
    Seriously e-mail me anytime! I know this is a rough point but you will get through these and come out stronger. Just know that. And know that things will get better.
    Sending lots of love to you ❤

  2. oh gosh my darling. i’m so sorry to hear this. i know it must be devastating and i can’t even imagine your fear and sadness. we are here for you. remember your loving family. xoxoxo please reach out if you need anything. hug your pup!

  3. *hugs* I am so sorry, Lauren. Carly is right, you did nothing to deserve this and sometimes these things are unavoidable. You never know, maybe this doc is wrong and those first blood tests were right? Sending happy vibes and positive thoughts your way, and hug Elmo extra tight today *hugs*.

  4. I’m a nurse and always tell my patients DON’T WORRY YET! Don’t spend five days miserable over this when nothing has happened yet. You will have your MRI and see what is going on. So, breathe. Wait for the MRI. Calm down until you have an answer.

  5. I’m so sorry to hear about this. No one deserves this so stop thinking about what you could of done to change it. You’re in my thoughts. Sending you love and hugs. Stay positive and think good thoughts. You need to be strong to fight whatever’s coming. And I hope nothing is coming and the doctor is just wrong.

  6. I am so sorry to read this. I cannot begin to imagine the emotions you’re feeling right now. I will be praying for your MRI to show that your bone isn’t dying and that you’re on the way to healing ❤

  7. I feel for you right now! Do what you need to do to stay calm and everything will work out. I’ll be thinking of you and I really hope the doctors can finally put an end to all of this!

  8. I’m so sorry to hear about this, my dear. I can’t even imagine how you’re feeling right now, but you are such a strong-willed person and I know that you will make it through in one piece. You did absolutely NOTHING to deserve this. Remind yourself of this again and again. Things happen sometimes, and they fucking suck. I’ll be praying for you, love. Hang in there and stay strong. ❤

  9. Aww Lauren, I am echoing everyone else here and saying how just…so so sorry I am to hear about this. You must be well BEYOND frustrated at this point, and of course sad, confused, a bit hopeless perhaps. But you have done incredibly well with this situation thus far and I know you will continue to do so, despite the ever-increasing crap circumstances. Stay as positive as possible, though have some time to sulk for yourself (this helps me anyway, just not too much!), and things will be figured out for you in time

  10. Good Lord babe. So sorry to hear this. I wish I could offer you comfort, but Im not sure there are any words that could ease your nerves right now. I’m just going to say that I’m praying for you and that you are in my thoughts. And you did NOTHING to deserve this, unfortunately sometimes people get things that they don’t deserve. It’s just the way life works. Try to keep your spirits up friend. Love you girl.

  11. Sending lots of positive thoughts your way. I am so sorry you’re going through this, but you are strong, and I know you will get through it. Take things one day at a time, and never forget we (as well as your family) are all here for you. You’ll be in my prayers ❤

  12. This is devistating (I cannot for the life of me SPELL THAT WORD). 😦 I remember when I was 17 and I was told that I have the bones of an 85 year old. Luckily, I have been able to put that aside and continue to live my life to the fullest. What sort of things can you do to hinder the bone “dying” process?

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