and the diagnosis is…

After a couple days of processing everything, I decided to take the advice from all of you and wait it out until I got the final results from my MRI. Okay, okay… so I freaked out pretty much every day and had myself convinced I had necrosis, but it turns out things aren’t as bad as I thought. Look at that!

Insert sigh of relief and hugs to everyone here. Your thoughts and prayers turned out to work their magic! Winking smile

On Thursday, I woke up to a text message from my surgeon declaring “NO necrosis”. Besides Kelly and Michael, this was quite possibly the best way I could have started my day. At the appointment, my surgeon told me to lay off running for a little while because my bone was still in the healing process and he may have jumped the gun a little bit. For now, I’m supposed to do pretty much any activity which is low impact which is fine by me!

No bone death! Hooray!

After my appointment, I left kind of upset and frustrated with everything. These past few days have been an emotional battle to say the least. I’ll be “fine” one minute and the next my eyes will well up with tears and here’s why…

My initial appointment was to figure out why I was getting bloody fluid in my knee. My surgeon was talking about doing an injection approach mixed with some oral steroids to really kick the fluid out of my knee. It wasn’t until my necrosis scare where everything was put on hold; however, after this appointment I realized I wasn’t given much of anything except a month of waiting around for the fluid to go away. It’s always there and it frustrated me to know there’s nothing I can pro-actively do to get it to go away. It takes medical intervention and quite honestly… I’m getting impatient waiting around so long.

I have been through this waiting game before to get another surgery months later because the fluids never went away. I don’t want this to happen again. I don’t want to wait around for months trying to heal something which cannot heal on its own. It’s very frustrating because I have been dealing with this for over two years.

What was even more embarrassing was panicking to my surgeon about the whole thing and him responding, “Enough”. Yeah, it makes me embarrassed to even go in his office again. I must be a joy, right?

I’m just really scared. Plain and simple. And I will openly admit I am living each day in fear this never goes away.

I know this was a long and lengthy post. It took me a while to just sit down and grasp everything, but I’ll be tomorrow with stuff I’ve been doing as of late. Surprisingly, I’ve had one of the best weekends of my life this past weekend.

Happy Tuesday (the most boring day of the entire week)!


30 thoughts on “and the diagnosis is…

  1. I just found your blog a few days before your last post, but I have been waiting for an update. I am glad you got such good news!! That’s awesome that your surgeon sent you a text to let you know, I never would have thought they would do that. And yes, Tuesday usually is the most boring day lol but it’s my one day off so I love it 🙂

    • Tuesday is an odd day for a day off but I guess it is awesome because it splits up the work week! And yes, I’ve been through SO many surgeries my surgeon lets me text message him! Lol I’m glad you found my blog 😀

  2. I’m so glad the diagnosis is no necrosis! I know it’s still very debilitating and frustrating, but at least know it’s not that awful scenario. I’m glad you had a great weekend, and I hope this rest helps and you start seeing more positive signs soon.

    • Me too! It does seem like this road is everlasting, but I hope I start seeing a light at the end of the tunnel. And I am so, SO thankful it isn’t necrosis. It would have been horrible.

  3. I was just thinking about you this morning and wondering if you were doing okay since I remembered you had your MRI on Wednesday last week (I think?!). Well, I am SO glad to hear your bone isn’t dying! WHEW. That is seriously amazing news! I am sorry, though, that everything else isn’t progressing as you’ve wanted (and deserve). If I were you, my surgeon would HATE me because I would be a brat about everything. You’re dealing with your situation MUUUCH better than I could ever, ever, EVER deal with what you’ve been and are still going through.

    Anywho, I am looking forward to your next post! What have you been up to?! How is Elmo?!

    • I know! Believe me, I’m probably not as calm in person as it seems through posts. It has been one heck of a ride through all of this and I am just so thankful it isn’t necrosis or bone cancer or something worse. I just keep hoping for a light at the end of the tunnel. Elmo is LOVING life, as always. He’s so spoiled. And he’s pretty happy (not really, lol) he just found his Halloween costume 😉

  4. i just started reading your blog a little while ago and i am thrilled to hear this great news! i’ve had similar issues with my knee so i feel where you’re coming from. no necrosis is fantastic news (so cool that your surgeon texted you btw). happy tuesday hun!

    • Glad you found my blog! And yes, I am very thankful it isn’t necrosis because that is very, very serious. My heart dropped when they first believed it to be what was going on in there. Right back atcha 😉

  5. Oh my gosh I am so happy for you. I would be freaking out too if I were you. I don’t blame you at all! I know it’s frustrating to play this waiting game but take it one day at a time. You got over this hurdle, and you will get over the next one too. I’m SO excited to hear about this best weekend of yours!!!

    • It wasn’t anything TOO special but I got out of house for the first time in forever to go somewhere relatively cool 😉 I’m sure you saw it on Instagram lol And yeah, this whole waiting thing just really sucks. There’s no other better way to describe it. It’s really bad (I think) because I’ve played this game before only to have ANOTHER surgery. AKSDFJLSDF

  6. Girl I am sooo happy there is no dying bone in you!! I hope that this puts you at ease a bit, but I know that there are still some struggles for you to face, but try not to get wrapped up in it. I hate that you live with this fear. That really is no way to live, and I wish I could take some of this burden from you, but to be honest, Id probably never stop crying in your situation. You are one strong chica. Hang in there babe. Your in my thoughts and prayers every day!

  7. WHOOO BONE CELEBRATION FOR STAYING ALIVE!! I know it’s still a tough process, and things are a struggle still, but take this good news and a cupcake!

  8. AHHH I’m so happy for you!!! Low impact is totally doable. I don’t blame you at ALL for freaking out…I would probably be 10x as worse that you. I hate not knowing things…even things as simple as where we are going to dinner…I ALWAYS make my boyfriend tell me even if it’s supposed to be a surprise. The unknown and me do NOT get along.

    I’m just so happy for you. You’ll make it through…you’re such an incredibly strong person.

    • Oh my GOSH, I’m the same way! I always tell my mom if anything is going to be a surprise to tell me because I can act surprised better if I know something is going to happen. If I don’t know, there’s a better chance I’ll freak the hell out. haha

  9. Yay! I was hoping that we’d get an update from you soon, and I couldn’t be happier to hear that it’s good news! I know it must still be crazy frustrating not to know what’s up, or how long it’ll last, but at least it wasn’t as bad as you thought 🙂

  10. glad it’s not as serious as you thought! So happy to hear that! I’m sure the doctor wanted to let you know what it could be so that you won’t be as overwhelmed with everything if it did sway that way. but nonetheless not something anyone would want to hear. stay strong and let it heal! 🙂

  11. i am so so so happy that you don’t have necrosis! and glad that you have been able to enjoy life and have such a great weekend. also, yes tuesdays suck. i hate them. useless day!!! can’t wait to hear what you’ve been up to. xoxo!

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